Aku dan kau

Yang salahnya aku
Yang bodohnya aku
Yang buruknya aku
Yang jahatnya aku

Kau,
Kau betul
Kau pandai
Kau sempurna
Kau berhati mulia

Inilah kita
Terlalu mengidam menjadi hakim dunia

Dimensi sahabat

Sahabat,
Satu tika dahulu aku bertatih mengenal dunia
Kau datang menghimpit cerita rasa
Berkongsi makna beda antara dunia kita
Perkenalkan aku pada dimensi luar cerita

Namun,
Masa sudah berlari jauh
Seluas tuntasnya lautan dunia
Cukup jauh untuk menzahirkan ertinya remaja
Cukup jauh untuk membeza nilam permata

Kini,
Cerita semalam tinggal sejarah
Sebuah definisi telah mula digarap
Menjadikan aku sorang nakhoda bahtera
Bahtera yang mula membelah badai

Realiti,
Belakang aku kau jadikan dinding
Dinding yang cukup luas untuk kau tikam
Cukup besar untuk pertikai mana kurangnya
Dimensi ini menyadarkan aku

Tidak kata sebaik rasa.

Susah

Susah nak jadi diri sendiri,
Kalau ada yang suka mengkeji.

Susah nak bangit tinggi,
Kalau ada yang suka membuli.

Susah nak berlari seluas padang,
Kalau ada yang suka menyandang.

Susah nak menari bebas,
Kalau ada yang suka menebas.

Susah nak berubah,
Kalau ada yang menegah.

Tapi,
Lagi susah nak hidup kalau bertimbun alasannya.
Baik mati, dari mengalah.

Live, life freely.

I always have these in my mind,

I wanna be actor,
I wanna be singer,
I wanna be artis,
I wanna be writer,
I wanna be that,
I wanna be this.

But, in the end hahah. Duduk terpaku di sudut bilik, tapping device. Pathetic me.

Then, one day I sat alone talking to myself *in closed place,  to ensure people not think me insane haha:D* I dunno what to be, who I really wanna be. Well, for all this time I kept telling people that I going to be engineer. The fact that only what I'm majoring in. And I HATE MATH, that's sucks.

          So, I have this in my mind.  No matter where my life going to lead me, I am what I want to be. At least to myself.

If I want to write,  then I write.
If I want to sing, then I sing.
If I want to act, then I act.
If I want to be, then I bee.

No matter where I go, there is me in myself.
I don't need people tell me what to do.

*oh well bad news,  spongebob gonna get cancelled 28th January 2014. Fucking sad*

Hingga habis pita.

Terkadang aku hairan, gusar dan tertanya. Persoalan ini sering munujah ke dalam ruang fikiran aku. "Kenapa aku lakukannya? Kenapa aku memaksa diri? Ini buka kemahuan ku?". Aku bentak, berkelahi dengan perasaan bodoh ini. Sampai bilapun tidak akan terjawab, gagal lagi untuk menyelesai. Mungkin hanya aku sedang bertarung dalam dilemma diri. Tegang dan luntur. Itu apa yang sedang aku alami, rasai sekarang. Mungkin kau fikir aku ini rumit, lunatik,  tersasar atau mungkin sedikit drama atau melankolik. Itu adalah aku. Aku yang lahir hasil rasa semalan, kelmarin dan lampau. Ini aku cerita sesuatu. Hatiku pedih, mungkin aku masih terkinja dan tersenyum. Tapi. Rasa sakit hanya aku yang tahu. Mungkin kau tak pernah adil, hanya aku yang memberi. Tapi bukan kau. Aku hargai kau. Tapi bukan kau. Kau di sana. Gembira bersama mereka. Apa kau mahu, kau dapat, malah lebih. Kadang aku bosan dengan sikap kurang bersyukur kau. Tapi aku lupa, itu manusia. Kita alpa, kita lupa. Itu fitrah. Itu lumrah. Bahkan aku berdiri di selut yang sama. Semakin lama, semakin tenggelam. Kau takkan sedar, tidak akan. Sampai nanti, suatu saat bila semua ini berhenti.  Mungkin masa itu kau di dunia baharu. Nanti, tiada apa yang perlu kau kesali. Fikir, fikir. Fahami, dalami tapi bukan alami. Aku tidak berharap itu. Tapi mungkin kan sampai kah kau ke dasar yang aku cipta? Tidak, tapi tak mengapa. Ini dunia. Hari ini berhenti disini, esok lusa ada lagi. Tenang dan berpura. Teruskan lakonanku. Hingga habis pita.

Gegirls liao!

Mereka yang memenuhi schedule setiap hari ku. Heheh. Itu sangat poyoable. Hehe. Nik akmar, niza, champ.

Roti canai tampal kawin

This is awesome roti canai combination ever! Roti canai terbang sangat lah sedap, fuhhh. Kalau dtg penang, singgah la sini hoii. Direction, Google sendiri ha. Roti canai terbang,  basically a kampung coffee shop. Suasana yg bestt. Setiap hari, mesti penuh dgn student uitm dgn poli je.

Testingggg from note 8

Kind of excited.  It's me trying to posting a newss using my new noteee. Hiyaaa!

new love: the beatles

good afternoon peeps. now im in love with the beatles. by the way, who gonna hate it.

the beatles by wiki

my favourite is their single yesterday 

well layannn. i've been sang it for all day longgg

exam result

assalamualaikum peeps. glad to write again. hihi. ye tanggal 9 mei adalah tanggal yang begitu bermakna buat semua pelajar diploma uitm dan sewaktu dengannya. hari ni ialah hari.... jeng jeng.....

tu dia. besaq baq hang. so kami pun menunggu dengan cuak ke bebeh nya la kan. sem ni kuaq awai pulak result. hamek kau, pukui 2 pagi dah tercongok dalam inbox ym aku. hihi. and alhamdullilah. even tough tak dean list. aku bersyukur. alhamdulillah again. and untuk kenkawan tu #thehalobs #EC1104H1H2 tahniah semua ya! 

memandang dah pukui 3 am ni. lebih baik lah aku p tidor dulu. esok masih banyak urusan yang perlu dilakukan. hihihi. baiii semua. tidur dengan senyuman

last but not least, bersyukur dan bersyukur kepada Allah dengan setiap limpahan kurnianya. redho dan tawakal. this is what we called life, we through the hardship to met the dream.

cuti oh cuti

assalam peeps.. cuti YANG SERONOK ni, telah aku plan nak kerja la.itula, inilah, et the end..... dok umah jaa. dok kemaih ghumah jaa.  laa ni dok melangok je. jealous pulak tgok kekawan aku kerja la. sobs sobs. its ok la, dok umah kemas rumah, makan, tidor je. haha. maklumla beta ni duduk dekat dalam utan, susah nak kerja. hoho

tamat sudah semester 4!

ehem ehem. hari ni dah selesai empat paper, water, soil, structure and algebra. paper yang amat MUDAH SEKALI (sarcasm tahap 9999). takpe, so far tawakal jelah kan. berusaha dah, so tawakal and berdoa dan berserah kepadaNya. berbakikan satu paper building service 8 apr ni, pastu boleh balik dah! wehaa.. excited yob..
rancangnya, cuti sem ni macam nak part time. tapi dimana??? idea idea.... takpe itu boleh setel satgi. easy easy. dah bai!

Right Path

recently i'm trying to write down this story but never make it. haha. here we go.

After UPSR,
 well i'm 12 and i got pretty good result from the exam which is 5A. so i got two offer, to islamic school and elite school (which i'll describe later). so i reject the islamic school because i thought it was horrible to learn arabic, to be honest i'm worst at this subject and never make it A. So i reply that i reject their offer(to the islamic school) and register the other school but thing turn to be just same. i still get offer for arabic class and what make it worst i couldn't choose other course and i just accept it. But actually i choose the second school because of my friend. i'm not choose it because of myself. not because that i want to study. i made choice as it for fun not for my sake.
 p/s: the arabic school is SMAJB and elite school is SMKBP, which is the SMAJB is better.

but things turn to be good and once again i got 8A's & 1D ,and the D for arabic. haha.

After PMR,

okay once again aku dapat offer yang awesome. i got SBP, but i hope for MRSM. Dapat pulak dekat island, ingat island lah sangat rupanya pulau serai. yeahh SBPI Pekan sekarang dah tukar nama. InSTAR gamaknya, pretty good name kot. okay, banyak sebab kenapa i move to this school, firstly at my previous school all my member are expelled because  we are quite degil but still alhamdullilah dapat awesome result. so move on to other enviroment gamaknya. And mungkin niat tak betul, tak fokus dan i lost who hardworking and focus me. my life was horrible then, lagi distract dengan stupid puppy love (such an idiot back then) and aku tak dapat kawan yang membina. ini bukan nak salahkan kawan or what. i admit salah diri sendiri jugak.  tapi be honest adik adik inilah yang merosakkan aku. tapi taklah sampai bukan bukan ye. i turn out to be lazy not care for study and leka bercinta. my study at that time hancur sangat. tapi masa tu aku tak peduli sangat, mungkin perasaan sedar tak ada dalam hati lagi, was pretty young kan? kalau pikir balik zaman tu semua aku hanya mampu menangis sebab nothing i could change lagi dah. fool me. my SPM result 4A, 3B+, 1B & 2C+. when you believe that yourself is better than that, i swear you'll cry. at that time, aku dah sedar mase tu hancurnya harapan abah dan ibu, i can see it and its really kill you from inside. things turn out be normal and aku busy dengan kerja (part time lepas SPM) and aku lupe dengan semua sedih tu. mungkin ianya sebab aku cuba melupakan all worst part of my life but dude life keeps running you can't run nowhere and it kills you again and again.

After SPM,
then i got offer from matrikulasi pontian, and UiTM Penang in diploma civil engineering in construction. i choose the second one, masa tu dalam kepala otak aku wah bestnya dapat penang boleh jalan and course MACAM best je. okay my first sem memang teruk sangat result memang fuhh, and then that moment i realize all this shit need to be stop. i work pretty hard(as for me) but to be honest itu tak mencukupi untuk loser macam aku ni. mungkin masa tu orang naik bukit guna cable car, i'm the one yang kene hike untuk ke puncak. aku betulkan niat and move on. ada juga aku terpifir untuk just quit and find new path. what if thing turn out to be just same?

so, i think deeply and aku tak boleh mengalah macam ni, i need to survive. sem 2 dan sem 3 sangat memenatkan nak cover up balik paper yang fail tu sampai full credit hours. takde sikit pun aku bangge untuk diri ni. lebih kepada menyumpah, kenapa jadi macam ni. tapi ini semua suratan-Nya. aku tak boleh argue semua ni, and berusaha lebih lagi, it's horrible when nobody trust you just because you can do it at first time.

tapi adakah jalan yang aku pilih ni betul, am i at the RIGHT PATH? atau mungkin i....
we don't know what will be going next. so bersyukur setiap saat kau bernafas dan cuba lakukan terbaik untuk diri sendir dan lillahi taala. this not meant that my life a horrible or what it just beginning... just keep walking.

thanks milo!

yehaa! i got a big suprise yesterday! dapat 12 van mini milo. excited bro. haha
itu si adik yang sebok haha.

WARNING

i know there is something wrong in my grammar. just bear with it. so sorry.

oops!

And the shits start happen years ago while we have chit chat don't know how but we spilled the secret unintentionally. since the others do know what the real issue was, they just ignored them. But not for him, he keep argue and curiosly want to know the real story. yeah, as we have trip back from sg.petani for site visiting the girls keep gossiping with others. from that point he smell something fishy. the girls keep talking again about him (awan) and know what. he, mr,p start guess something. as both of us (mr.p and i) have chat he keep talking about "dah terang lagi bersuluh". i know that he know, and what he guess is true. but i don't know until today, i ask him again. at first he hesitated to tell me and i keep forcing and ask him, he give up and just tell me. hah! guess what bingo that's true! but i denied it again and again, but when suddenly when rini talking about wan all the girls looked at me and i know that i'm busted. but keep cool and deny the truth. jingle the way. oh ya. just forget him. as soon, the story about wan will be not published anymore. Wee.

p/s: you'll never understand what i talking about.

Just another holiday

So, i guess this holiday just another lame one. Since i do nothing and just lay down for everyday and all the shits just accumulate in my brain. To be filled of, i do some preview for old song, classic music and trot one.
And this song quite catch my ears. This not so damn old song just about 10 years ago.

The original song was sing by Mandy Moore, and here Suzy Miss A for dream high drama version. Its quite catchy. Damn sweet.

Actually i already fall in love with classics since i was teenage i my favourite one is Ludwig Van Beethoven, most awesome and genius composer ever known. And my new (not quite) favourite song! lovely and rock yeah!!

Between: Dream and Reality

yup, this title made me confuse a little. might be so damn serious and maybe nothing at all. and i'm about to rethink about my crush. should i... now i'm blurred.. yes. been decide it is just another my teenage story. as i'm about to my 20th haaa that's my puppy love i guess.. cehh. now i have to ignore all what those nonsense think and focusing my study mehh. yelah sem 4 agak though dari those last sem tauu. and saya ni tak bijak la. sob sob sob. what makes me think is all of a sudden about my crush. that slight moment i had been. standing there busted (maybe wahaha) and so on. nak cite lebih lebih pon bahaya, karang dari deme tak tahu pape, jadi tahu segalanya. haishhh.(jidin style). heee. dah la. kan i dah cakap, it's nothing. haha. jgn lah marah. ni haa baru nak intro. meh meh.

      okayy. aku percaya la kalau crush ni macam hape je. sebenarnya it's better la kalau kita pendam je, yelah lagi kau tu jatuh cinta (yeke??) ke, crush ke dekat kawan kau. bahaya tau, kite kene jaga hubungan baik sesama kawan, cayalah all this love thing kan hanya rosakkan persahabatan korang je. tapi aku tak nafikan mungkin mereka tu jodoh hang ka kan. boleh jadi jugak tau. but in my case i just assume bukan my mr.destiny laa. hehe. kekadang bila kau jatuh cinta tu, kau kene ingat bumi mana kau pijak. setinggi mana ilmu yang kau junjung. yelah takut esok lusa kau jugak yang merana hati tahu? so nasihat i kat sini better we all (termasuk la aku) ni fokus study dulu. banggakan ibu abah dulu. baru cerita nak bercinta la. yang lelaki tu, kumpul duit sesiap, bila dah cukup duit tu, kau terus je minang. insyaallah, ada jodoh dia terima. tapi jangan lupa buat la solat hajat, mudahkan segala urusan tu. (hehe, tips mak jemah ni). jangan lupa, selalu lah doa dapat jodoh yang baik, yang mampu membimbing kita kejalan yang Allah redhai tau. dalam surah annur ayat 26; ada menyatakan wanita yang baik untuk lelaki dan baik dan sebaliknya. so i believe dengan ketentuan Allah and i always believe that He will give me the best, sebab aku juga yakin yang baik itu datangnya daripad Allah dan yang kurang nya adalah diri aku sendiri.

translate: evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. and good words are for good men, and good men [an object] of good word. those [good people] are declares innocent of what the slanderers say. for them is forgiveness are noble provision.                                              [sahih international]

                Untuk penutup tirai malam ni, aku berharap Awan takkan sedar apa yang Bumi rasakan, dan biarlah ia menjadi rahsia dan aku harapkan penyudah yang baik daripada-Nya. 

note: i'm not mending broken heart, picture for display only. rock yeah!

and lasttt.. unintended from muse

You could be my unintended 

Choice to live my life extended 

You could be the one I'll always love 

You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions 

You could be the one I'll always love 

I'll be there as soon as I can 

But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before 

First there was the one who challenged 

All my dreams and all my balance 

She could never be as good as you 

You could be my unintended 

Choice to live my life extended 

You should be the one I'll always love 

I'll be there as soon as I can 

But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before 

I'll be there as soon as I can 

But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before 

Before you

jumpe masterchef 2?

ni yang nak mengkepoh ni. so tadi pergilah lunch bersama #thehalobs kan di kedai lauk banyak (actually tak tau nama kedai tu apa) and lauk die teramat la banyak. kedai tu taklah best sangat.( in my opinion la) dengam panasnye, yee penang sangat lah panas. dah puas melantak kedarah semua jumpa  pulak peserta masterchef 2, tapi cikgu jelah. hihi. tapi kitorg punya excited. mak kauu. macam hape je. well #thehalobs kan. memang haloba sangat. cikgu makin hensem, tapi tak nampak die pakai songkok macam biasa. ini more nuetral la. casual outfit dia je kann. hehe. suke beno lah saye ni mengkepoh. okay bye, salam jumaatt!

New Semester, New Hope!

well, sem 4 dah kite. pejam celik almost two years dah duduk penang study dip engineering ni. harap harap moga result sem ni sangat memberansangkan la ye... sem ni dapat ground floor la. but okaylah. tak payah nak que naik lift semua kan. tapi so sad tak dapat satu bilik dengan rini lagi. si mak datin terpaksa move back with her old rommies. takpe takpe air dicincang takkan putus la. ceewahh! ni dah almost a week the halobs tak semua balik lagi, si arip maybe sampai this night. awang still kat sabah. syahid off to phuket. so belum la gather officially lagi. kami menunggu syahid! yeahh.. buah tangan lai lai.. sem 4 ni bapak lab and i guess this semester kinda busy than last year. ehh yeke?? haha, tepuk dada tanya schedule la. one thing i hope that everything gone well and my friend stay as awesome as ever. dear friend don't ever ruin your life. pleaseee! soooo sem baru harapan baru la gamaknye yee. harap lemuk tepu ni pergi bersama angin. oh angin sampaikan salam rindu ku buatnya.. ehhh? hehe. yup! harap budget tahun ni fit la ye.. oh buku sangat lah mahal... last thing! tak saba nak tggu syahid balik!! nak pegi pesta penang! weeehaa! that little wee will make famous someday.. ehh??