Live, life freely.

I always have these in my mind,

I wanna be actor,
I wanna be singer,
I wanna be artis,
I wanna be writer,
I wanna be that,
I wanna be this.

But, in the end hahah. Duduk terpaku di sudut bilik, tapping device. Pathetic me.

Then, one day I sat alone talking to myself *in closed place,  to ensure people not think me insane haha:D* I dunno what to be, who I really wanna be. Well, for all this time I kept telling people that I going to be engineer. The fact that only what I'm majoring in. And I HATE MATH, that's sucks.

          So, I have this in my mind.  No matter where my life going to lead me, I am what I want to be. At least to myself.

If I want to write,  then I write.
If I want to sing, then I sing.
If I want to act, then I act.
If I want to be, then I bee.

No matter where I go, there is me in myself.
I don't need people tell me what to do.

*oh well bad news,  spongebob gonna get cancelled 28th January 2014. Fucking sad*

Hingga habis pita.

Terkadang aku hairan, gusar dan tertanya. Persoalan ini sering munujah ke dalam ruang fikiran aku. "Kenapa aku lakukannya? Kenapa aku memaksa diri? Ini buka kemahuan ku?". Aku bentak, berkelahi dengan perasaan bodoh ini. Sampai bilapun tidak akan terjawab, gagal lagi untuk menyelesai. Mungkin hanya aku sedang bertarung dalam dilemma diri. Tegang dan luntur. Itu apa yang sedang aku alami, rasai sekarang. Mungkin kau fikir aku ini rumit, lunatik,  tersasar atau mungkin sedikit drama atau melankolik. Itu adalah aku. Aku yang lahir hasil rasa semalan, kelmarin dan lampau. Ini aku cerita sesuatu. Hatiku pedih, mungkin aku masih terkinja dan tersenyum. Tapi. Rasa sakit hanya aku yang tahu. Mungkin kau tak pernah adil, hanya aku yang memberi. Tapi bukan kau. Aku hargai kau. Tapi bukan kau. Kau di sana. Gembira bersama mereka. Apa kau mahu, kau dapat, malah lebih. Kadang aku bosan dengan sikap kurang bersyukur kau. Tapi aku lupa, itu manusia. Kita alpa, kita lupa. Itu fitrah. Itu lumrah. Bahkan aku berdiri di selut yang sama. Semakin lama, semakin tenggelam. Kau takkan sedar, tidak akan. Sampai nanti, suatu saat bila semua ini berhenti.  Mungkin masa itu kau di dunia baharu. Nanti, tiada apa yang perlu kau kesali. Fikir, fikir. Fahami, dalami tapi bukan alami. Aku tidak berharap itu. Tapi mungkin kan sampai kah kau ke dasar yang aku cipta? Tidak, tapi tak mengapa. Ini dunia. Hari ini berhenti disini, esok lusa ada lagi. Tenang dan berpura. Teruskan lakonanku. Hingga habis pita.

Gegirls liao!

Mereka yang memenuhi schedule setiap hari ku. Heheh. Itu sangat poyoable. Hehe. Nik akmar, niza, champ.

Roti canai tampal kawin

This is awesome roti canai combination ever! Roti canai terbang sangat lah sedap, fuhhh. Kalau dtg penang, singgah la sini hoii. Direction, Google sendiri ha. Roti canai terbang,  basically a kampung coffee shop. Suasana yg bestt. Setiap hari, mesti penuh dgn student uitm dgn poli je.

Testingggg from note 8

Kind of excited.  It's me trying to posting a newss using my new noteee. Hiyaaa!

new love: the beatles

good afternoon peeps. now im in love with the beatles. by the way, who gonna hate it.

the beatles by wiki

my favourite is their single yesterday 

well layannn. i've been sang it for all day longgg

exam result

assalamualaikum peeps. glad to write again. hihi. ye tanggal 9 mei adalah tanggal yang begitu bermakna buat semua pelajar diploma uitm dan sewaktu dengannya. hari ni ialah hari.... jeng jeng.....

tu dia. besaq baq hang. so kami pun menunggu dengan cuak ke bebeh nya la kan. sem ni kuaq awai pulak result. hamek kau, pukui 2 pagi dah tercongok dalam inbox ym aku. hihi. and alhamdullilah. even tough tak dean list. aku bersyukur. alhamdulillah again. and untuk kenkawan tu #thehalobs #EC1104H1H2 tahniah semua ya! 

memandang dah pukui 3 am ni. lebih baik lah aku p tidor dulu. esok masih banyak urusan yang perlu dilakukan. hihihi. baiii semua. tidur dengan senyuman

last but not least, bersyukur dan bersyukur kepada Allah dengan setiap limpahan kurnianya. redho dan tawakal. this is what we called life, we through the hardship to met the dream.

cuti oh cuti

assalam peeps.. cuti YANG SERONOK ni, telah aku plan nak kerja la.itula, inilah, et the end..... dok umah jaa. dok kemaih ghumah jaa.  laa ni dok melangok je. jealous pulak tgok kekawan aku kerja la. sobs sobs. its ok la, dok umah kemas rumah, makan, tidor je. haha. maklumla beta ni duduk dekat dalam utan, susah nak kerja. hoho

tamat sudah semester 4!

ehem ehem. hari ni dah selesai empat paper, water, soil, structure and algebra. paper yang amat MUDAH SEKALI (sarcasm tahap 9999). takpe, so far tawakal jelah kan. berusaha dah, so tawakal and berdoa dan berserah kepadaNya. berbakikan satu paper building service 8 apr ni, pastu boleh balik dah! wehaa.. excited yob..
rancangnya, cuti sem ni macam nak part time. tapi dimana??? idea idea.... takpe itu boleh setel satgi. easy easy. dah bai!

Right Path

recently i'm trying to write down this story but never make it. haha. here we go.

After UPSR,
 well i'm 12 and i got pretty good result from the exam which is 5A. so i got two offer, to islamic school and elite school (which i'll describe later). so i reject the islamic school because i thought it was horrible to learn arabic, to be honest i'm worst at this subject and never make it A. So i reply that i reject their offer(to the islamic school) and register the other school but thing turn to be just same. i still get offer for arabic class and what make it worst i couldn't choose other course and i just accept it. But actually i choose the second school because of my friend. i'm not choose it because of myself. not because that i want to study. i made choice as it for fun not for my sake.
 p/s: the arabic school is SMAJB and elite school is SMKBP, which is the SMAJB is better.

but things turn to be good and once again i got 8A's & 1D ,and the D for arabic. haha.

After PMR,

okay once again aku dapat offer yang awesome. i got SBP, but i hope for MRSM. Dapat pulak dekat island, ingat island lah sangat rupanya pulau serai. yeahh SBPI Pekan sekarang dah tukar nama. InSTAR gamaknya, pretty good name kot. okay, banyak sebab kenapa i move to this school, firstly at my previous school all my member are expelled because  we are quite degil but still alhamdullilah dapat awesome result. so move on to other enviroment gamaknya. And mungkin niat tak betul, tak fokus dan i lost who hardworking and focus me. my life was horrible then, lagi distract dengan stupid puppy love (such an idiot back then) and aku tak dapat kawan yang membina. ini bukan nak salahkan kawan or what. i admit salah diri sendiri jugak.  tapi be honest adik adik inilah yang merosakkan aku. tapi taklah sampai bukan bukan ye. i turn out to be lazy not care for study and leka bercinta. my study at that time hancur sangat. tapi masa tu aku tak peduli sangat, mungkin perasaan sedar tak ada dalam hati lagi, was pretty young kan? kalau pikir balik zaman tu semua aku hanya mampu menangis sebab nothing i could change lagi dah. fool me. my SPM result 4A, 3B+, 1B & 2C+. when you believe that yourself is better than that, i swear you'll cry. at that time, aku dah sedar mase tu hancurnya harapan abah dan ibu, i can see it and its really kill you from inside. things turn out be normal and aku busy dengan kerja (part time lepas SPM) and aku lupe dengan semua sedih tu. mungkin ianya sebab aku cuba melupakan all worst part of my life but dude life keeps running you can't run nowhere and it kills you again and again.

After SPM,
then i got offer from matrikulasi pontian, and UiTM Penang in diploma civil engineering in construction. i choose the second one, masa tu dalam kepala otak aku wah bestnya dapat penang boleh jalan and course MACAM best je. okay my first sem memang teruk sangat result memang fuhh, and then that moment i realize all this shit need to be stop. i work pretty hard(as for me) but to be honest itu tak mencukupi untuk loser macam aku ni. mungkin masa tu orang naik bukit guna cable car, i'm the one yang kene hike untuk ke puncak. aku betulkan niat and move on. ada juga aku terpifir untuk just quit and find new path. what if thing turn out to be just same?

so, i think deeply and aku tak boleh mengalah macam ni, i need to survive. sem 2 dan sem 3 sangat memenatkan nak cover up balik paper yang fail tu sampai full credit hours. takde sikit pun aku bangge untuk diri ni. lebih kepada menyumpah, kenapa jadi macam ni. tapi ini semua suratan-Nya. aku tak boleh argue semua ni, and berusaha lebih lagi, it's horrible when nobody trust you just because you can do it at first time.

tapi adakah jalan yang aku pilih ni betul, am i at the RIGHT PATH? atau mungkin i....
we don't know what will be going next. so bersyukur setiap saat kau bernafas dan cuba lakukan terbaik untuk diri sendir dan lillahi taala. this not meant that my life a horrible or what it just beginning... just keep walking.

thanks milo!

yehaa! i got a big suprise yesterday! dapat 12 van mini milo. excited bro. haha
itu si adik yang sebok haha.

WARNING

i know there is something wrong in my grammar. just bear with it. so sorry.

oops!

And the shits start happen years ago while we have chit chat don't know how but we spilled the secret unintentionally. since the others do know what the real issue was, they just ignored them. But not for him, he keep argue and curiosly want to know the real story. yeah, as we have trip back from sg.petani for site visiting the girls keep gossiping with others. from that point he smell something fishy. the girls keep talking again about him (awan) and know what. he, mr,p start guess something. as both of us (mr.p and i) have chat he keep talking about "dah terang lagi bersuluh". i know that he know, and what he guess is true. but i don't know until today, i ask him again. at first he hesitated to tell me and i keep forcing and ask him, he give up and just tell me. hah! guess what bingo that's true! but i denied it again and again, but when suddenly when rini talking about wan all the girls looked at me and i know that i'm busted. but keep cool and deny the truth. jingle the way. oh ya. just forget him. as soon, the story about wan will be not published anymore. Wee.

p/s: you'll never understand what i talking about.