well i'm 12 and i got pretty good result from the exam which is 5A. so i got two offer, to islamic school and elite school (which i'll describe later). so i reject the islamic school because i thought it was horrible to learn arabic, to be honest i'm worst at this subject and never make it A. So i reply that i reject their offer(to the islamic school) and register the other school but thing turn to be just same. i still get offer for arabic class and what make it worst i couldn't choose other course and i just accept it. But actually i choose the second school because of my friend. i'm not choose it because of myself. not because that i want to study. i made choice as it for fun not for my sake.
p/s: the arabic school is SMAJB and elite school is SMKBP, which is the SMAJB is better.
but things turn to be good and once again i got 8A's & 1D ,and the D for arabic. haha.
After PMR,
okay once again aku dapat offer yang awesome. i got SBP, but i hope for MRSM. Dapat pulak dekat island, ingat island lah sangat rupanya pulau serai. yeahh SBPI Pekan sekarang dah tukar nama. InSTAR gamaknya, pretty good name kot. okay, banyak sebab kenapa i move to this school, firstly at my previous school all my member are expelled because we are quite degil but still alhamdullilah dapat awesome result. so move on to other enviroment gamaknya. And mungkin niat tak betul, tak fokus dan i lost who hardworking and focus me. my life was horrible then, lagi distract dengan stupid puppy love (such an idiot back then) and aku tak dapat kawan yang membina. ini bukan nak salahkan kawan or what. i admit salah diri sendiri jugak. tapi be honest adik adik inilah yang merosakkan aku. tapi taklah sampai bukan bukan ye. i turn out to be lazy not care for study and leka bercinta. my study at that time hancur sangat. tapi masa tu aku tak peduli sangat, mungkin perasaan sedar tak ada dalam hati lagi, was pretty young kan? kalau pikir balik zaman tu semua aku hanya mampu menangis sebab nothing i could change lagi dah. fool me. my SPM result 4A, 3B+, 1B & 2C+. when you believe that yourself is better than that, i swear you'll cry. at that time, aku dah sedar mase tu hancurnya harapan abah dan ibu, i can see it and its really kill you from inside. things turn out be normal and aku busy dengan kerja (part time lepas SPM) and aku lupe dengan semua sedih tu. mungkin ianya sebab aku cuba melupakan all worst part of my life but dude life keeps running you can't run nowhere and it kills you again and again.
After SPM,
then i got offer from matrikulasi pontian, and UiTM Penang in diploma civil engineering in construction. i choose the second one, masa tu dalam kepala otak aku wah bestnya dapat penang boleh jalan and course MACAM best je. okay my first sem memang teruk sangat result memang fuhh, and then that moment i realize all this shit need to be stop. i work pretty hard(as for me) but to be honest itu tak mencukupi untuk loser macam aku ni. mungkin masa tu orang naik bukit guna cable car, i'm the one yang kene hike untuk ke puncak. aku betulkan niat and move on. ada juga aku terpifir untuk just quit and find new path. what if thing turn out to be just same?
so, i think deeply and aku tak boleh mengalah macam ni, i need to survive. sem 2 dan sem 3 sangat memenatkan nak cover up balik paper yang fail tu sampai full credit hours. takde sikit pun aku bangge untuk diri ni. lebih kepada menyumpah, kenapa jadi macam ni. tapi ini semua suratan-Nya. aku tak boleh argue semua ni, and berusaha lebih lagi, it's horrible when nobody trust you just because you can do it at first time.
tapi adakah jalan yang aku pilih ni betul, am i at the RIGHT PATH? atau mungkin i....
we don't know what will be going next. so bersyukur setiap saat kau bernafas dan cuba lakukan terbaik untuk diri sendir dan lillahi taala. this not meant that my life a horrible or what it just beginning... just keep walking.
